Buy Looney Tunes T-Shirts  

 

Your Inner Tweety


Cartoon Laws of Physics

Physical laws that govern the space-time continuum of cartoons.

I

The Principle of
Suspended Animation

Any body suspended in space will remain suspended until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar equation of 10m/s2 takes over.

II

The Principle of
the Stooge's Surcease

Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely.

III

The Principle of
Scherenschnitte

Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming exactly to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a perfect cookie-cutter hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyses this reaction.

IV

The Principle of
Inverted Values

The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights of stairs to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

V

The Principle of
Acoustic Startlement

All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

VI

The Principle of
Bodies in Motion

As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

VII

The Principle of
Suspended Disbelief

Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

VIII

The Principle of
Felicity

Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

IX

The Acme Principle

Everything falls faster than an anvil.

 

Your Inner Tweety

Copyright 2011 www.yuckles.com

 

Looney Tunes Baby Tee
Looney Tunes Baby Tee
Looney Tunes Calendar
Looney Tunes 2015 Wall Calendar
Looney Tunes Gang Coffee Mug
Looney Tunes Gang Coffee Mug

 

"Your Inner Tweety" is not affiliated with or endorsed by Warner Bros., Inc.& Looney Tunes, Merrie Melodies characters and all related slogans and indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros., Inc. The materials provided herein are intended solely for the personal use and enjoyment of the general public. The use of such material falls under Fair Use provisions.