Top 15 Signs Your Cat is Overweight
15. Last hairball it coughed up was your dog.
14. Lands on its belly before it lands on its feet.
13. Run over by a car and the car comes off worse.
12. You need oxygen after it sits on your chest.
11. Mice point at it and snicker.
10. Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
9. Confused guests constantly mistake kitty for a beanbag chair.
8. Reduction in calls to the fire department correlates with an increase in broken branches.
7. Fifteen month gestation period, but still no kittens.
6. No longer cleans self unless dipped in Cheese Whiz.
5. Cat food dish replaced with trough.
4. Can't safely lift kitty without a spotter.
3. Only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational field.
2. Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
1. Kitty has more chins than lives.