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Snake jokes and
puns so clean
you could eat off 'em!
To boa or not to boa, that is the question. -- Steve |
What did the naughty little
diamondback say to his big sister?
"Don't be such a rattle-tail!"
-- Carol
What does an exhibitionistic snake
wear to the beach?
A pythong.
-- Carole B.
What's a picnic?
A snack in the grass.
-- Sandra Wolf
What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hissssstory!
-- CrazeeGal5-@-aol.com
What does a boa constrictor use to
make herself look prettier?
Hair coilers!
-- Louie Bon (woof!)
What kind of snake is completely
different?
A Monty Python.
-- The Artful Bodger
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snakeskin.
Snakeskin who?
Snakeskin bite, but we'd rather run away.
-- Bailey
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow!
-- Todd
What did the snake say to Sylvester
the Cat?
Nothing. He was ssssspeechlesssss!
-- Puppy2000-@-aol.com
What do you call a snake without
any clothes on?
Snaked!
-- Hannah Stafford, Aberdeen, Scotland
Monogrammed towels: 'Hiss' and 'Herps'. |
Why is a snake so smart?
Because you can't pull its leg!
-- Hannah Stafford, Aberdeen, Scotland
Why is a snake so careless?
Because it keeps losing its skin!
-- Hannah Stafford, Aberdeen, Scotland
Hey Frank, are we venomous?
Why do you want to know?
'Cause I just bit my tongue!
-- Richar9476-@-aol.com
What does a snake radio DJ say?
"Snake, rattle and roll!"
-- Hannah Stafford, Aberdeen, Scotland
What does a well-dressed snake wear?
A boa tie!
-- Bill Stupi, Elizabeth, NJ 
What kind of snake keep its car the
cleanest?
A windshield viper!
-- Parker Deay
What is a snake's favorite footwear?
Snakers, of course!
-- Todd
How do snakes show they love you?
They give you hugs and hisses!
--
Todd
What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!
-- Kevin Crace
What is the most popular snake
dialect?
Boomslang!
-- Zeeb
Don't worry, be herpy. |
What kind of snake can do math in
the dark?
A night adder!
-- Zeeb
What kind of snake did Roger the
shrubber
(from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
use to help him round up some shrubbery?
A bushmaster!
-- Zeeb
What kind of snakes get to hug the
bride at a wedding?
Garter snakes!
-- Zeeb
What do snakes do at the end of a
date?
They give each other a goodnight hiss!
-- Kjremmers-@-aol.com
What kind of snake can cut a rug
with the best of them?
A carpet python!
-- Anonymous
What snake do you bow to?
A kingsnake.
--
Anonymous
Who married the kingsnake?
Well, the queensnake of course!
-- Anonymous
What prize was given for first
place?
A blue ribbon snake!
-- Anonymous
What snake is a member of the band?
The RATTLEsnake!
-- Anonymous
How can you revive a snake that
looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!
--
LaLaLua-@-aol.com
M R snakes. |
How did the snakes bust out of jail?
They scaled the wall!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com 
What kind of slippers do snakes
wear?
Water moccasins!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
What do snakes put on their kitchen
floors?
Rep-tiles!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
How do you measure a snake?
In inches. They don't have any feet!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
If you crossed a snake with a robin,
what kind of bird would you get?
A swallow!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
What did the cobra say to the flute
player?
"Charmed to meet you!"
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
What would you get if you crossed a
newborn snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa!
-- LaLaLua-@-aol.com
What do snakes take for an upset
stomach?
Repto-Bismol.
-- Ian T. Campbell
Why couldn't the female snake have
any babies?
Because she'd had a hiss-terectomy!
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
What should a ghost yell if it
wants to scare a snake?
"BOA!"
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
Why do snakes go to free clinics?
They like the sliding scales!
-- Todjob-@-aol.com
Why can't snakes eat soup?
No spoon! They only have a forked tongue!
-- Todjob-@-aol.com
Why was the water moccasin suspended from the swim team?
He was failing Hisss-tory.
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
She thought the joke was hisss-terical
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssssside.
-- MPapamaddox-@-gateway.net
Why didn't the snakes leave Noah's Ark
and multiply like all the other animals?
They couldn't multiply. They were adders!
-- Mike Blaine
Why did the wife snake leave her husband at the party?
She thought he was making an asp out of himself!
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
What kind of snake helps clean the dishes?
A dish-viper!
-- Marcia
How do snakes cook pasta?
Heat until the water coils or comes to a slither!
(Boils or comes to a simmer.)
-- Tim Morrison
What do you get if you cross a snake with a builder?
A Boa Constructor!
-- Thomas Howard
Why do snakes squeeze their food?
Because they have no arms to hug it!!!
-- Katy Applin
What is a snake's favorite song?
"Fangs For The Memories"
-- rjsquir-@-banet.net
What is a snake's favorite dance?
The 'Mamba'!
-- Thomas Howard
Where do snakes go to have fun?
The boa-ling alley!
-- Thomas Howard
What clothing might sister snakes share?
Co-bras!
-- Mecarlsn-@-aol.com
Need more fun snake stuff?
Visit the
Yuckles Snake Gifts Store
Cobras, and Rattlers and Pythons! Oh my!
T-shirts and sweatshirts with pictures of snakes.
Bamboo Limbo Party Kit It's limbo time! See how low your guests can go! Great fun for all ages from beginner to expert with eight levels of difficulty. Kit includes 2 six foot high bamboo limbo poles, 1 six foot long limbo stick, and a limbo music CD. |
